Smoke Shops That Sell Synthetic Urine Near Me?! [My Story]
This is a bit of a personal story to help all those people who are online searching for “smoke shops that sell synthetic urine near me”.
The reason I want to help is that I had a similar experience two years ago. And it was such a nightmare that I learned a huge lesson from it, and I want to pass that on right here. If you get complacent, as a regular weed smoker, you could get caught out, and the panic I felt about potentially losing my job is something I don’t want you to experience.
So I’m going to tell you my story. About how I got caught out, my race to find fake pee for sale locally, and why that “Where can I buy synthetic urine near me?” panic moment should never happen.
The Nightmare Of A Drug Test At Short Notice
Two years ago I had to have a drug test at short notice. When I say short notice, I’m talking about five hours’ notice! I was told by my boss when I got to work at 9 o’clock in the morning that it was happening. He said that the testing would start at 2 PM, and go on until the office closes at six.
So that was a nightmare moment for me because I’m a chronic weed smoker and I knew I would get caught out. I actually think on reflection my boss gave me a little heads-up and may have saved my job.
I was facing a situation where I knew I was going to be drug tested in the next few hours, but the window during which that was going to happen was four hours. Which meant I had to get hold of some fake urine and keep it at the right temperature all afternoon.
Usually, I have Sub Solution to hand. In fact, Quick Luck had just come out as well at that time a couple of years ago, and that’s basically a premixed Sub Solution. So I was going to buy that to put in my locker, for just such an emergency situation.
However, I hadn’t got round to doing it and the Sub Solution was at home. I was an hour each way from home on the train, so I was really stuck with what was available in the area around me, I could go and get in a 45-minute lunch break.
The nightmare continued when searching for “smoke shops that sell synthetic urine near me” only turned up two within reasonable walking distance, and I knew one of those was an absolute craphole.
The Search For Synthetic Urine Near Me
So look guys I hope you can see that nightmare situation unfolding. I knew I was going to get caught if I submitted a real urine sample.
Trying to find synthetic urine near my workplace was a nightmare, and I was actually lucky that there were a couple of places within walking distance. In a lot of towns and cities, you wouldn’t even be that lucky.
So as soon as my lunch break came I had to get out of the building and find some fake pee for sale, then get back into work with it and get ready to submit it. To say I was sweating would be an understatement, I really was feeling anxious.
#1 Smoke Shop Near Me: Crap Synthetic Urine
As I suspected, the first smoke shop near me at the time sold only poor quality fake urine brands at a really high price.
They had Magnum, Xstream, Agent X, and I think it was Synthetix5. None of them reliable, all of the old formulas, containing biocide (an artificial preservative that drug testing labs are apparently now able to test the presence of to rule out fake samples), and just not good enough quality.
I even asked the guy behind the counter if they had any other brands of fake urine, and he just shrugged his shoulders. But I bought a box of Magnum anyway, just in case the second smokeshop had nothing.
I figured the Magnum will be better than nothing, but that shows the level of desperation I was at, because I know that it’s complete crap, and I know tons of people online who have said they have failed using it. Thankfully, in the end, I was able to toss it in the bin.
#2 Smokeshop Had Monkey Whizz
When I walked into the second smokeshop that actually sold synthetic urine near me at the time I felt a wave of relief, because it was a little better and sold Monkey Whizz. Actually it was Monkey Flask, monkey whizz is the urinary belts, but people tend to call urine products they sell “Monkey Whizz”.
They had that and U Pass (which is also a brand of fake urine you should never trust). So it was the best of the bunch. They didn’t even have Quick Fix, which would have been slightly better choice the Monkey Whizz.
However, Monkey Whizz is a decent brand if it’s only a basic drug test that you are facing. That means they aren’t that interested when you hand the sample over, so they don’t visually see anything wrong, and if they are only testing for the presence of the real basics of urea, uric acid, creatinine.
How I Passed The Test Using Fake Pee From A Local Store
So look, I managed to get Monkey Whizz. It’s not bad, but it sucks when you compare it to Sub Solution.
Sub Solution contains 14 chemical markers found in human urine. It doesn’t contain biocide, and you don’t even need a heatpad or microwave to get it warm. It contains heat activator powder, and you just tap a little in and agitate the liquid, and it can raise the temperature of the liquid in about 30 seconds.
So I got back into the office and then had to prep the stuff up. I had to get the heatpad activated and get the sample at the correct temperature so I could then stash it on myself all afternoon.
Thankfully, there was nobody in the company lunchroom. Monkey Whizz is premixed, and there is a microwave in the lunchroom for people to heat up the food they bring into the office, which was a godsend.
It was a big risk though, but the alternative was to run the sample under the hot tap in the restroom. I figured if somebody walked in they were more likely to spot what I was doing immediately, than if I heard the door go behind me in the lunchroom.
So I sat down with my back to the door, activated the heatpad, and then quickly microwaved the sample for 30 seconds. It started to register on the temperature strip, which was good enough for me. I strapped on the heat pad, tucked it in my underwear, and got the hell out of the room, dumping the box in the waste bin on the way out.
I had to wait another two hours, but finally, when I was called, I just had to go into the restroom, across the hall anyway, then bring the sample back to them. Is was all very low-key, and not a problem in the end because I was in another room when I poured the Monkey Whizz into the sample vial.
Where Can I Buy Synthetic Urine?
Look guys I hope you never have a situation like I experienced there. I got complacent, and I wasn’t prepared.
Most people won’t have the luck to find fake pee for sale near them at short notice. Unless you’re in a big city, you’re going to struggle. Even if you find the stuff, then getting hold of anything that could pass a drug test at such short notice is still a tough thing to do.
So my advice is never to rely on smoke shops, petrol stations, or local convenience stores to get your hands on fake urine. You can, but it will be poor quality, something could be missing, it could be out of date, you just have no idea.
My advice here is that to steer clear of the hell of having to get on your phone and type in that spine chilling search term “smoke shops that sell synthetic urine near me”. You need to prepare better than that guy, which is the lesson I learned.
Even if you are searching to go and grab a bottle for a drug test in the next few days, you’re going to hit the same problem I did in terms of quality. Not just about panicking on the day of your test. My advice remains the same.
When it comes to answering the question: where can I buy synthetic urine, the answer is to buy it online in advance. Whether your drug test is today, or in a couple of days, that’s what you need to do.
For me, a detox drink was out as well. I could have got one in Walmart, but I knew I was riddled with drug toxins, and that would have been even more likely to fail than poor quality synthetic urine. With a detox drink, you usually need to do a 48-hour detox and abstain for 72 hours for them to work if you are a chronic weed smoker or something like that.
So the moral of the tale is to prepare. Don’t rush around looking for where you can buy synthetic urine, just order it right now. It has a year shelf life, and if you buy Quick Luck, the new and premixed version of Sub Solution, then you will only need 30 seconds to prepare the sample. Just pour in the heat activator powder, shake it up, and as long as the temperature strip registers, you can submit it.
If you are caught out with a drug test at short notice, then just buy it online from somewhere like TestNegative. They offer express shipping that will get it to most places in the USA within 24 hours or two days at the most.
But for me, I wouldn’t be risking it like that again. I nearly got caught out, and I learned a huge lesson from it, which I want to pass on to you guys right now.
Get your hands on some Quick Luck or Sub Solution. If you’re going to keep it at work, then I would buy Quick Luck because it’s premixed. So you can prepare it in a locker room, a toilet cubicle, in the cab of a van or lorry, out the back, basically anywhere in about one minute.