Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine Review – How Good Is It?
Table of Contents
There’s a lot to talk about in this Monkey Whizz review. It’s one of the better-known brands of synthetic urine. But is that because of the stupid name, or because it’s good at fooling people like Labcorp?
In this review we will talk about the ingredients, how to use it, clear up some confusion around what Monkey Whizz actually is, and give you some tips on being successful at passing drug tests.
I’ll also talk about the downside of this product, which could catch you out. It’s an assumption which is catching out both men and women, and I want to clear it up.
Plus, we will finish this review of Monkey Whizz by seeing where it sits on the list of top brands of synthetic urine, so you can make a better decision based on this review of whether it’s the best choice for you.
About Serious Monkey Bizzness
Serious Monkey Bizzness is the company behind Monkey Whizz. However, there’s some confusion about that because all of their products are referred to as “Monkey Whizz”, which doesn’t make it clear which one needs.
So I want to go through all of their products in detail here to ease that confusion. The company makes four products, all often referred to as “Monkey Whizz”. But only one of the products is actually called by that name, so let’s show you what the product range is, and where the actual Monkey Whizz urine product falls into it:
- Monkey urine is a budget product. It only costs $15, and all you get is a vial of powdered synthetic urine. It’s the same urine in all of the products, but you get nothing else, no heatpads, nothing, and you have to mix it up with water.
- Monkey Whizz Flask is the next cheapest product, costing $39.95. That gets you the same synthetic urine in an easily concealable flask with a heat strip on it and a good-sized heatpad. This is actually a great priced option.
- Monkey Whizz Belt costs $56.95. You get the same urine as with all the other products. You also get two slim heatpads, which tuck inside a belt that contains the urine. You dispense the urine through a pipe and tap. So you don’t get a flask-shaped bottle, you have to use the urine belt.
- Monkey Dong is the most expensive product, costing $119. That gets you the synthetic urine belt, four heatpads, a prosthetic penis on the belt, and a syringe to put the fake urine into it. It’s available in a variety of skin shades, and you simply squeeze the prosthetic to start and stop the flow.
So as you can see, Monkey Whizz itself is not the urine, but a product that contains it, a belt with a dispensing tap.
But in this Monkey Whizz review, I’m going to talk about both the belt, and the Monkey Flask product, which is basically what you get with the other best brands of synthetic urine.
Ingredients: Does Monkey Whizz Contain Creatine?
So what are the ingredients in Monkey Whizz urine? Does it contain all of the chemicals that are needed to pass the validity checks that lab tests for?
The key question is does Monkey Whizz contain creatine? But it’s not the only question about the composition that needs answering. So let’s list exactly what the composition of this synthetic urine is:
- Uric acid
- Human urine pH range
- Human urine specific gravity range
- Looks and froths like urine
So it does contain all the basic ingredients you will need. However, there are a couple of reasons why Monkey Whizz synthetic urine falls down compared to some of the competition:
- It might contain biocide, an artificial preservative that is present in a lot of brands of synthetic urine. Some of the big testing labs test for its presence, which means it could be caught out no matter how complex the actual chemical formula is. This hasn’t been confirmed by the company, but a recent increase in failure rate points to it maybe being the case.
- It doesn’t smell like human urine, which a couple of the other top brands do. It’s not a deal breaker usually, but if your sample comes under close scrutiny, they can sometimes froth it, look through it, and even smell it to see if it requires further testing.
Monkey Whizz Review: Instructions
I hope you can see that Monkey Whizz instructions can’t all be the same, because it refers to 4 different products.
So let’s talk about the basic Monkey Whizz Flask first. The instructions for that are pretty straightforward:
- Heat the sample up microwave until the temperature strip shows a reading of between 90°F and 100°F. Monkey Whizz doesn’t actually recommend you do this, they say the heatpads will be enough. But for the Flask product, where it’s quite a dense bottle of liquid, I certainly wouldn’t want to rely just on the heatpad bringing the temperature up alongside body heat on your way to the lab. That’s a big gamble.
- Strap the activated heatpad to the sample and leave it for 10 minutes to make sure that it regulates within the right temperature range. Then head off and submit your sample.
Now we get to the actual Monkey Whizz product, so we actually have a belt to deal with as well:
- You have to bring the temperature of the product up. You can microwave the urine which is already in the belt, but the company doesn’t recommend this. They say that if you just activate the pair of heatpads, put them in, and then strap it to your body, then it should come up to human urine temperature within about 15 minutes. Again, to me, that feels a little bit of a gamble as you won’t know if it’s going to be right until you actually get to the lab.
- Then you have to strap the Monkey Whizz urine belt to you, and go and submit your sample.
- When you submit your sample, you pull out the tube, turn the tap, and it will silently release the fake urine into the container.
The Problem With Monkey Whizz Synthetic Urine
So look, there are some real positives around using Monkey Whizz products. I want to talk specifically about the problem with using the Monkey Whizz product, the incognito belt product.
The monkey Flask is straightforward, you just have a flask of urine. Because you are only going to submit this in an unsupervised drug test, you’re out of sight, so it’s really simple to take out the flask and submit the sample.
But if it’s an unsupervised drug test why you need the Monkey Whizz incognito belt?
Think about it, is just another layer of complication. You have to pull it out, smoothly operate the tap without spilling it anywhere, while dealing with the sample cup as well.
The whole thing seems geared towards supervised drug testing. But I sure as hell wouldn’t pull out that tube and tap out during a supervised drug test, even if I wasn’t being directly looked at. There’s just too much margin for error, just extra things that can go wrong with those additional steps.
For a supervised drug test, you obviously have to use the Monkey Dong if you’re going to submit a fake sample. So I just don’t really get who the incognito belt, the actual Monkey Whizz product is aimed at.
The company claim it can also be good for women. But if it’s unsupervised, it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman, nobody will be watching you, so again, why complicate matters with the belt, tube, and tap system?
Does Monkey Whizz Work?
Does Monkey Whizz work? I think you stand a great chance with this synthetic urine if we are talking about the actual testing process.
It’s quite a complex formula, it will pass visual scrutiny, and for the $39.95 that the Monkey Flask will cost you, it’s good value. Of course, there are risks, it’s not the most complex formula, it doesn’t smell like urine, and there is the dice roll that it might contain biocide, which could be checked for.
You get the same urine in the actual Monkey Whizz product, so it stands the same chance of working. If you want the reassurance of having it close to your body and having a pair of heatpads, it’s a better product than the Monkey Flask.
However, you have to deal with the complexity of the tap tube system. It’s possible to use it, and it does mean you don’t have to worry about tucking the flask inside your underwear, or anything coming loose.
But you will need to practice with it several times beforehand, and you will have to check the temperature very carefully before entering the testing lab. The other downside to the Monkey Whizz incognito belt over a flask product is that you can’t heat it up again easily.
Picture the scenario, you have the Monkey Flask, and you get to the lab and see what the temperature is cool, below the minimum needed. You find some hot water, or you have a flask of hot water on you, and you can literally heat it up again by pouring water on it.
But you can’t do that with the incognito belt. You can’t adjust the temperature with hot water, you can’t even practically remove it and put it back on again. You will be stuck.
Alternatives To Monkey Whizz Kit
So the conclusion of this Monkey Whizz review is that it’s a great budget synthetic urine product.
Just go for the Monkey Flask if you want simplicity, and if you want the reassurance of having it close to your body, and not having to worry about hiding a flask, then go for the Monkey Whizz incognito belt. Just make sure you can deal with the complexity of the tap.
Don’t ever buy Monkey Whizz on Amazon because it’s often fake. Monkey whizz Amazon, eBay, anywhere like that, is a bad idea.
Buy it from a reputable shop like this one.
In terms of alternatives to Monkey Whizz. There are three better:
Quick Fix is another budget brand costing about the same as Monkey Whizz. There’s not a lot to choose between them, although it’s reported that it definitely doesn’t contain biocide. But other than that, it’s tossing a coin to choose between them.
Quick Luck is the most complex formula it costs $100, followed by Sub Solution for $80. But what really sets them apart is the heat activator powder they both employee to get the temperature of the sample right.
As we’ve already talked about, the biggest problem, and it’s the biggest failure problem when submitting a fake sample, is submitting it too cold. With the heat activator powder, you can check the temperature before you go in, and add a little more. So it gives you control where the budget brands using heatpads can’t.
So the conclusion of this Monkey Whizz review is to give it a try if you’re on a budget. The belt can really help, but it does have the complexity of the tap system. If you want to really be on a budget use Monkey Flask, which is perfectly adequate for a basic unobserved pre-employment drug test.